My name is Jay Herron. I am a fifty- five year old male who is a rape survivor. Now how can that be? only woman get raped !! That is a wrong assumption.
My story is unique,but not unusual-only society may make it seem unusual. Rape among males is a fact. Rape is a sexless and ageless crime.
What happened to me occurred in the new few days of 1970 ,to be more precise-new years eve. After the rape I was repeatedly sexually assaulted for a period nearly two months long.
My story is quite complex,my life has been as if I was a boxer that was’nt a fighter and yet he was proud enough every time he got knocked down that he’d get right back up. My life has been sort of like that- as I have seen tragedy as early as the age of eight,and things in between then and now have always been more unlike other peoples lives , sometimes I have difficulty believing it myself. But,what I will be writing about is true. It happened and there is no reason to season the details at all,because there is no reason to.
In April 1969 I enlisted in the United States Navy,I was 17 years old-and had to wait for my 18th birthday before I could enter active duty. That came in August and I was sent to Great Lakes ,Illinois for my basic training,boot camp.
I loved it. You would have to understand the whole story of my life to understand why I’d loved boots-most people hated it,but I loved every minute of it. I loved the Navy. My Dad had been in during WW II and my oldest brother was serving at the same time I had enlisted. My grandfather on my dads side was a river boat pilot-back in the days when river boats was the transportation of the time. M great grandfather was a sea captain-in charge of those great tall sailing ships. So the navy had fit a family background-but unfortunantly,I was’nt just joining the navy because of our heritage…it was because the US Marine recruiter had jammed his finger in my chest and knocked the wind out of me. And While I stood there trying to get my breathing back-gasping like crazy…the marine recruiter had started a list as to why I did’nt want to be a marine.
I weighed all of about 110 then,skinney-could’nt lift a feather…just about. But somehow his lecture sunk in and by the time my breathing returned tonormal I was pleased he suggested the Navy.
Viet Nam was going as strong as it could get at that time in 1969. We kids in those days had a lot of mixed direction to look at back then. Every week on TV was the Vic Morrow television show…’Combat’,and all of us kids wanted to go off and fight the Nazi’s. But V-Nam was different , and unlike the WW II era-we had the hippie movement,teens and young adults and priests and violence in our home land…all about the Viet Nam war…not the pulling together we saw during the world wars.
So-because I am just learning about this blog idea and that I am not too experienced at the computer…I am going to leave my story at this point and see how it goes into outer space and ends up on this blog site.
I will tell my story in its entire length-in details…as we go along. But this is my first try on this site so I do not want to say alot-and loose it.
Stay tuned,you’ll see an amazing life come together in front of your eyes. Thanks.
September 28, 2006 at 2:04 am |
It is very brave of you to make public an experience that is rarely ever talked about…and on the occasion that it is, it is with cruel humor, not sincerity.
October 10, 2006 at 11:26 pm |
Your bravery will serve you well Jay…..brave to share something so devastating, brave to live, brave to make changes…..keep up the good writing. Shellia
June 1, 2007 at 3:51 pm |
Just happened upon this blog from “Homeless Man Speaks”. My father was raped as a child but we never learned about it until he was dying from cancer. Since that time I have spoken to many men about being sexually molested as children. It is great that you are willing to share your experience on a subject not commonly known about except through prison movies.
August 27, 2007 at 3:10 pm |
Hi Jay. I just stumbled across your blog from a google saved search I have on rape. I am a men’s rights activist, so I’m always looking for stories to write about. Thus the search.
I have finally remembered, through therapy, that I was repeatedly raped as a very small child. I don’t know who did it – I have figured out it wasn’t my dad, thank God. Doesn’t really matter, anyway. I’m finally starting to heal from this irrational fear of men and disgust at sex I’ve had all my life – I’m 41 years old, so it’s been a long time.
Anyway, I’m going to read your whole blog. Thank you for sharing your story. People don’t realize men can get raped, too.
August 27, 2007 at 5:05 pm |
…thank you,KellyMac….you just shared your story too-and that is very important…the more voices-the more we are heard!
February 12, 2008 at 4:29 am |
Thank you Jay for your comment and support @Mount Cope. We all need to heal and draw strength from others.I have just started to read your story and I have linked your blog in Mount Cope’s Abuse Resources so it may help others also. Take care… the survivor of Mount Cope
July 9, 2008 at 11:12 pm |
Hey Jay,
My name is Brittny I am a student at the University of Florida…I am working on a school project for my radio class..and it is about how society and the media does not pay much attention to male victims of rape and sexual assualt. There are a lot of classes out there for women to take, such as self defense classes, but not much offered for men. I would really like to talk with you, as a male victim of rape, and about your opinion on the matter..its simply a school project…and I would just need to do a phone interview with you asking you questions like “how do u feel that the media doesnt give a lot of attention to male victims of rape?” and things like that. Anything you don’t feel comfortable asking is ok…and you can keep your name annoynmous if you would like..if you are willing to talk with me, you can email me at britt711@ufl.edu and we can set up a time to do the interview. thanks again jay.
February 10, 2009 at 7:09 am |
Someone needs to teach this guy how to write a simple story.
March 2, 2009 at 10:21 pm |
Jay, thank you for joining the rising chorus of men speaking up to address sexual violence and to offer hope and inspiration to others who suffer in silence.
In 1974, at the age of 14, I was abducted, beaten and sexually assaulted by a 29 year old serial pedophile. He was identified, arrested and indicted but never convicted. He wasn’t convicted because someone brutally beat him to death in the streets of Providence, Rhode Island before his court date. 34 years later, no one has ever been charged with the crime.
In just a few weeks my novel, Men in My Town, based on actual events, will be available on Amazon.com telling the story that’s been a secret for over three decades. Please take a moment to read ” A conversation with Keith Smith, Author of Men in My Town,” to learn more about the book and male sexual assault. The “Conversation” is on the Men in My Town Blog at http://meninmytown.wordpress.com.
June 4, 2009 at 12:32 am |
I am a 53 year old male victim of rape in 1974. The memory has just surfaced and I am in the beginning stages of recovery. I am realizing the effects it had on my entire adult life. It is difficult finding support groups. Particularly faith based support groups or other information.
June 4, 2009 at 12:38 pm |
I am sorry to have to agree with you Nate-there is not enough support and even belief that males are victims too.
Faith based? You ARE the base of faith-and use your faith to assure you that God is above it all and above any of us-and is your best friend!
You keep that in mind-you will find inner healing.
Society needs to understand-to learn how much damage happens during a sexual attack,and-how long it may have been the damage never heals.
I support you-write through this venue any time you want,and even this:begin your own! The more you speak about it-the more you gain control.
June 5, 2009 at 3:42 am |
i have never told anyone this. i am a 35 year old ex international athlete and rugby player. i read your blog and as i am despeately searching for something but i am not yet sure what.
i was sexually abused by my grandfather from an age that i cant remember until i was 8. i then went to boarding school at the age of 12( in south africa that is still primary school age but i had skipped a year so i was in high school already) there i became the target of the senior boys and for 3 years i was the forced to have sex with either one or a whole group of them, it all just happened randomly so i would often sleep in my closet or under the bed…..which is where i sometimes still wake up. it was also there that my sports teacher either drugged or made me drunk, and proceeded to tie me to his bed and raped me repeatedly….i cant remember much….just his breath and the feeling that i just want to die…i woke up in the hospital where they had to sew me up again.
i still dont feel anything…..and i dont know what to feel about what has happened to me either.
June 5, 2009 at 8:24 pm |
Our lives are all fucked up-Jacques,and then we catch a glimpse of someone elses. I can not imagine what it would be like to be sexually attacked by a grandparent-or a parent. And yet-I was attacked by strangers and those who should have held me simply turned me away,my parents.
I want for a way to help you.
I only know that by writing about my life in this journal has helped and given me a power over this-being a survivor.
Why not try yourself? Because you found me and my story-and it inspired you to write and say something. You would inspire others who might read your words and hear about the pain you suffered-but yet you became someone,and a star at that.
I know what waking up in that closet is like-my closet is my past.
Peace
July 24, 2009 at 11:13 am |
You are a true soldier. I’m not quite sure how I stumbled upon your blog, but I’m glad I did. You’re an inspiration if I ever did see one. Things like this are very common and it’s a sad, sad thing. But having the courage to speak up and tell people your story…? You sir, have just earned my utmost respect.
I can’t say that I’ve ever had the chance to speak from my heart and tell someone about my past. It’s a hard thing to do. Just thinking about it makes me quake in fear- have nightmares for days on end. You’re a fine, courageous man. I keep saying it, I know, but something like that really does bare repetition.
Thank you for having the courage to say something. Thank you for showing me what a true soldier is made of.
Good day sir, and Godspeed.
July 24, 2009 at 1:21 pm |
I am awestruck by your comment-thank you very much!
September 23, 2009 at 6:28 am |
Hi…OMG, i cant tell you how relieved i am to find people with the same problems as me. as much as i wish it hadnt happend to any of us, i am still comforted by knowing im not the only one. im 2o years old now…but when i was 6 years old, my 9 year old cousin sexually molested me…a couple years later, he met some more deviant friends and the abuse grew more violent…i was severely beaten, raped, and tortured every day for 8 years. there were days i was kept inside a big filing cabinet, and prostituted by my cousin to strange men who wanted to fuck little boys. my cousin wuld get paid by these men, and i would pay for it. I’ve been through so much and i’ve developed PTSD (post-traumatic-stress-disorder). I’ve been to the hospital more times than i can count. And still have to go regularly for a checkup on my rear ( because they destroyed my body). Despite everything though, i’m trying to be successful in the world. Currently in my second year of college but it still hurts EVERYDAY!!!!I need someone to talk to… ttul
September 23, 2009 at 10:52 am |
I understand. I lived with the idea I was the only person this had ever happened to. Sometimes it makes me sick for people to call me a survivor-sometimes I realize that I am! That side of it helps.
Sometimes it seems people forget how much of our life we remember as children. But,we remember.
Writing about my life and telling others about it in this forum has helped me very much. It has given me some kind of power over what has happened.
I hope you find some Peace-as hard as it is,I hope for you in that way.