Originally uploaded by jayfherron.
…..my recent days have been subject to the effects of depression. If anyone of you who knows what this is like you will understand. I can’t seem to get up out of it-although the last few days have been better…I still feel like crap.
People don’t understand depression-they think its somene who is just sad and feeling low and folks…thats not it. It is painful-ones body reels from the pain-and being unable to stand up for any period of time…I have to fight to become motivated,and the past few days I have been off and on the fence of beating that battle-most of the time being battered back by this condition. My neck and arms and legs under the control of something I fight hard to keep control of-a monster of agoney who revives itself unexpectedly inside of my body and soul. Just let me hide under the covers in a darkened room.
I have yet to tell many things about my life-just when one might think I’ve told all there is to tell….nope,theres more. Just give me a chance to untie this anchor that binds me….
a males life after rape 
December 20, 2006 at 8:15 pm |
Can I call you Jay?
I completely understand. I to have PTSD, different causes but the disorder is what it is. I so hear you about depression. I get into that “funk” and I can’t get out of it. The real problem for me is, trying to identify the “stressor.” That thing that seemed to cause all of down hill slide. More often than not…it’s nothing. The cycle which seems to have a need to repeat is just in that phase. Of course the bigger questions is how to get out of the DZ…depression zone. Keep on your meds for sure. Celexa is my brand, in varying degrees of mgs. It doesn’t keep me from getting depressed, but it keeps me from reacting to the depression.
Secondly, gotta do something to keep my mind active. The newer or the more different from the routine the better. My big problem in dealing with PTSD is an inactive mind. If I am not doing something mentally challenging, than the invasive images return and then…depression.
My wife is good about the whole thing, and she has a good sense of humour about it. More often than not, she is the one that brings me out of it.
Humour is truely the best medicine. Honestly, if you can’t laugh at yourself, it is difficult if not impossible to laugh with anyone else. It is difficult dealing with PTSD and at the same time ensuring that you are not constantly stoic or some sort of doomy-gloomy kind of guy.
Please keep in touch…I promise not to be a pain…
Keep well
Shawn
August 2, 2009 at 5:37 am |
I have had trouble with depresion for several years . They have tryed most meds that the VA have withouy much luck . I was reacently asked what Happyness is . I do not Know . All that I do know is . Before I was raped so many years ago . I was a diffrent person . Where has that person gone to?
MICHAEL
I HAD NO SHOES. THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET
August 2, 2009 at 12:21 pm |
I have no exact answers…I do know-drugs are’nt the key,but – it sure is hard not to try them.
My advice Mike-quit the med’s and try to do something more positive for your body.
I don’t know how to answer any questions about happiness.
The morning of my rapes I was told to get used to it….how? None of it ever seems to go away-I really wish I could tell you something different!