self portrait




self portrait

Originally uploaded by jayfherron.

Living in an isolated way as I do it takes a while to find out who is who in the world-for example,I only just learned Bruce Springstein has been a rock and roller for as long as Dylan has and I think it could be any day for me to learn who Brittany Spears is….is she an actress? I’ve never seen a ‘Survivor’ show…and have no idea who ‘Simon’ is. I’ve never seen an image of the twin towers falling,and will not-it’d be too much.
I live in the middle of a forest-six miles from the nearest town ( a place with one traffic light and a bar ). I do have neighbors but this place is so rural that I’ve lived next to someone for nearly 30 years and have’nt a clue what they look like. My companions are two small chiuaua’s,one of which has a doberman attitude-a five pound meanie…but the truest source of love I have.
I am a survivor of a crime that has never been considered by any one else but me-the only person I ever reported it to pretty much laughed at what I was saying. Although this took place 37 years ago it continues to trouble me to this day.
I am a male rape survivor.
My rapes happened while I was in a detention barracks-so while being kept there for nearly two months I experienced humiliation and abuse and from it I earned a fear of people and relationships-finding it nearly impossable to maintain friendship…finding it hard to find trust,something which was damaged the most.
This whole event stayed quiet with in me-my secret…although over the years I did tell some,there again-very few….trust,but about two years ago I began therapy for my post traumatic fears.
During my therapy it became a point where it was suggested that I report this again…a huge mistake where things were said that angered me-and made me want to do something way unusual for me,fight back!
I bought this computer. My intent is to write about my experiences and my life in hopes to reach others and more important-to hopefully raise awareness to the FACT that there are male survivors too,and more specific is my quest to draw awareness to the problem of these crimes being commited in the military and the unjust way veterans are treated.
Until yesterday I had not really thought of how deep the ignorence is regarding male sexual abuse…not males that abuse-but males that have been assaulted sexually as a victim! I look through the ‘blogs’…and the internet to find information and others to contact to start an awareness and bring out a voice-and I found a place with the topics of feminism…and realized the problem is even worse because feminist take the attitude that males are a danger to females and we are the rapist…nearly as bigoted as the Florida veterans advocate that assumed my assailents were black men,and that we were homosexuals.
Rape-everyone…is not confined to the derelect mind of some man who is out to harm a woman. Rape -everyone-is a genderless crime,seriously mistaken as a sexual act…it is not! Rape is a form of violence and control and to me should be regarded as serious as murder-because to live in the aftermath is degrading and full of fear and shame.
Rape is NOT confined to woman….and in truth the feminist movement should be offended that rape is being so isolated to females when there is nothing further from the truth.
I am not waving a banner-being proud of my being a male survivor…I’m pointing out that now it is 2007 and not 1957 and it is time to recognize the aged definition of woman are the only victims. I’m only speaking up for the men….we also need to realize that children are being assaulted too-and that any unwanted touch is in my opinion an assault,but to narrow the crime of rape into a lane that concludes rape is only a crime that victimizes woman is wrong.
I do want to observe that the United Kingdom appears to be ahead of the United States in recognizing and treatment for male victims-that is edvident from my tracking things down on the internet…the most I could find from the USA is that a rape is reported every six minutes and every fourth criminal attack is by more than one assailant-no mention of these numbers as to how they are divided,or are all rapes reported confined into a gender box?

5 Responses to “self portrait”

  1. miralu Says:

    I too live in no man’s land, and only have a vague idea of who Simon is by osmosis that I cannot avoid…

    Thank you for commenting. You have some interesting pieces… I know that you are new to computers, but if you are interested in mixed media and collage you might be interested in working with some digital imaging… the collage possibilities are amazing (and less messy)…

    Take care

    PS if you would like to see some more of my work I have a some web gallery at mirandapennington.dot com

  2. miralu Says:

    Oops – I guess that link doesn’t work.. I don’t what I did wrong.. Guess I’ll try again…

    miranda pennington art and music

  3. miralu Says:

    apparantly, I am just a retard.. the second link doesn’t do anything … third time’s the charm…

    miranda pennington art and music

  4. truckerswife Says:

    It’s good that you choose to express yourself and let others no you are not ashamed!

  5. B.J. Says:

    Believe me, Uncle Jay, you’re not missing anything not knowing about Britney Spears. She’s a very troubled young singer who cries for people to respect her privacy, then turns around and does stupid things to get attention and publicity. Shortly after Matt Lauer (from a daytime TV talk show) interviewed her, and where she tearfully said she wished people would respect her and her husband’s privacy, she posed nude for the cover of Vanity Fair Magazine. Her latest attention getting escapade was shaving her head bald. Oh, I forgot to mention her 55-hour quickie wedding and annulment to Jason Alexander in Las Vegas. Britney Spears did one movie that flopped called “Crossroads”. Simon is Simon Cowell. He’s a judge on a TV show called “American Idol”. American Idol is where young people from ages 16-29 compete in a singing contest.

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