my rattlesnake bride-part two

misty

Originally uploaded by jayfherron.

I don’t want to be mistaken in my writing about Misty and giving her the moniker that I have.
It is true that she had serious problems-no one lies like that,and no one is supposed to steal from others. But there was one thing for sure-the afternoon she brushed up against me and whispered in my ear the words ” I love you Jay” was the most beautiful way I had ever heard it spoken in my life.
Michelle Ann is her real name. I thought it was so much more nicer than Misty and I used that name the most. She and her kids had only been in my home short of a week when she whispered that in my ear-but I was already way ahead of her…I loved her-every minute of her…I wanted to be in her presence and have her recognition and yet there was so much anger and confusion because this beautiful creature only had six months to live-if that! It was overwhelming…I had wished that she had not whispered like that in my ear-I could have handled her death better not knowing she loved me too.

You know-you can walk through the woods and walk right past a rattlesnake and that thing will just lay right there and you’d never know it,you’d be safe and it’d be easly contented to lay right there,you don’t molest it-it won’t mess with you.
Misty was’nt like that. You had no idea when she was going to strike
Now I realize that many might be reading this and begin to think I’m some kind of nasty guy for talking about her like this. It could be considered that my feelings reflected here are a revenge-but thats not true. The thing Michelle Ann was’nt able to see was there was someone who wanted to be with her-and who really loved her and even after learning of all the lies and all the background-this guy was still wanting to see through to a clearer day.
She was one of the most intelligent persons I’ve ever known-not educated,but seriously smart. When we spent the time in the long haul truck we could be loading in Baltimore for the west coast-say Los Angeles…and she could sit there with an atlas and an address and get that planned before we ever left the shippers-and she was remarkable to get it so accurate. And all the while as she would direct me as we found our destination she would be so alive and wonderful.
I really miss that.
Its really sad! I said yesterday that she left here nearly 9 years ago-it was sort of a relief because it was like trying to hold a lightning bolt being with her…she drank so much and lied so much that it was always tense,and me trying to understand what my body was going through with the effects of the stroke ( and of course that period of time was when ‘Rose’ came into the picture-Americas Most Wanted) and I admit that her leaving was a relief and a good heave ho might have been said afterwards….but I’ve wished for nine years that she would find a change.
I learned this summer that our being married still created a problem at my bank and in other ways so it was suggested-almost required,that I seek a way to divorce her. An attorney was hired and it had been learned she had not slowed down since she left in 1998. She had been arrested several times-did a year in a county jail and some time in prison for reckless endangerment and fleeing the state with her children (again) and the record showed she was arrested for use of others names-her sisters too. So she had not found the way to change.
Funny-sad funny…I truely loved her-and kept loving her like in one of those old time style love stories.
There was one night a long time ago when she and I first met and I saw in her eyes this look of such peace and I never have forgotten that look.
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