death…




death picture

Originally uploaded by jayfherron.

Now theres something not everybody is getting up in the morning and enjoying as a conversation over first coffee. But-it is often on our mind.
As a people-we fear it and its random ways. Why is that? Why is death so feared and yet so curious to us?
Now I know one can say that the experience I am about to describe is only the results of too much crystle meth….but I can say with confindence that it was not but that the drug was only leading me to where I was-at the footstep of death.
It was in 1993 when I was hooked up with the cattle hauling job…a job that was a job-but was’nt,I had been asked to fill in with another driver who was sick and they had no one else to go. As a matter of fact,I was living out here with no electricity and no water-because the well needs the electric to run the pump….no food,the car was busted as always-so the guy who owned the truck was a man who I had know ever since he was just a boy and when he offered me a chance to make a few hundred bucks real fast I went for it.
It was only supposed to be a quick trip to Demopolis Alabamba-hauling 250 head of cattle from the market in Webster Florida…a trip that ended up lasting about a year or a little longer.
I had drug problems before. I had gotten deep into cocaine in the early part of the 80’s and pushed a lot of money up my nose in less than a year until it was suttlely pointed out to me that I needed help-which I got. I truely thought that after those days it was all behind me-but I was wrong.
Other than the young man that asked me to fill in as a driver-I did’nt know any of these people and the nature of moving cattle takes a large group of people-horseman and other drivers and it truely is a different kind of trucking and it is also crazy crazy work-each animal weighs about 880 pounds give or take and theres usually 250 of them at a time and each one of them is as stupid as a box of rocks but has enough sense to be really obnoxious-a true way to heal a vegitarian is to let them work around cows.
But-I’m getting off track. All of the people I was around that first day were absolute strangers to me-but there was no hesitation to have someone in the crowd to bust open a baggie of white powder crystles and offer the finished little lines of it to you. So-there went my nose…an automatic response.
It is kind of funny-this drug and these people. The general overview would easily say these are not people involved in drugs-and in thier mind they are’nt and if one was to be in the crowd and offer cocaine they would run you out of Dodge swiftly. This part of trucking the use is almost acceptable and percieved as a tool of the occupation of moving cattle across country.
Death? I stayed awake an entire week-fully eyes open no naps awake. We went from the Cow Palace in Lakeland to Brawley California and back to another cow barn in Lakeland-thats Florida,right! And across again to Lamar Colorado and then over to Mericopa and up to Garrden City Kansas and back across to Rebecca Georgia when it all caught up with me…no sleep in 7 days all because of a drug someone made in a motel room somewhere??
It felt like someone hit me from behind with a sledge hammer-literally knocking me to my knees.I tried to stand back up but the force of the sledge hammer feeling hit me again right between my arms and I fell flat on my face in the dirt.
The other drivers helped me up into my truck and boom-it hit me again and I fell into the rack and passed out-somewhat. I felt different-real good different. Soft…pure,calm. I could hear these voices speaking in a tongue not familier to me but yet I knew what they were saying was pure and truth and was comforting. I could see a light a very beautiful light and I was being led by the voices towards the light,there was a darkness-but it was too far away to disturb the direction I was going.
And like a dumb ass-I started to think about this and that I was actually going to die and wanted to wake back up…! What a fool. I was there-it was good,and I turned around.*

*writers note:I want to say that trucking and especially cattle hauling is an honorable way of life and my details of drug use are true and is indeed a part of that industry but I believe in many cases it is more limited to certain groups who wildcat loads and I don’t want to dishonor any body in what I have said at anytime,but like it or not-it does exist .

One Response to “death…”

  1. Mike E Says:

    I think the drugs are what make cattle haulers cool!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: