For a period in my life I thought that I was going to make a career out of hauling these concrete buildings across country. They took forever to pull. They were solid concrete-oversize…and weighed way more than your standard highway load which meant you nearly walked up hills with them…mountains were worse.On the other hand-they were a breeze because of the distances we were pulling them we encountered cities along the way that restricted us going through except for certain hours-so there was a lot of stops to wait and at the same time…rest up.
I hauled the one in the photograph from where they manufactured them in Alabama to a to a place about 30 miles into the middle of no where off of the paved road. Wells Nevada was the nearest town.
I have never been to Nevada to spend any time. I have been through it many times to reach Sacramento and always stopped to fuel and eat at Sparks before crossing over Donner Pass. Theres not much to interest me-I don’t gamble,so that idea is lost on me-but trust me…they give you every opportunity in the world to be sure. Theres games in every place you go-you can even play video poker while you poop,the slot machines are everywhere. Go to a fast food place-the tables have a video poker game in the table! It just did’nt figure.
When you drive west out of Salt Lake City the territory gets a little bit more open than much of the east is. Lets put it this way-theres a place called Oasis Nevada that is so far out in the middle of the desert that theres a prison there that has a little short fence surrounding it and no guard towers. Perhaps its a miminum security prison-but man alive,who in the world is crazy enough to want to try to walk away from that place-day or night. There is nothing….the isolation is unbelievable,but theres one thing you can count on-you pull off the highway to some little lonley gas stop to buy a soda and a snack and sure enough theres about twenty slot machines and twenty folks sticking nickles into them.
My only ever load to Nevada was this building-and as I said it went into the desert outside of Wells.
Theres several nice truck stops there and since I had to wait for a crane and crew to arrive the following day I parked and showered and decided to go across the way to one of the casinos to see what they were all about….and had a beer and that one was so good and cold I had another and the place was really going to town and the activity-so I had another and I got so drunk I could’nt stand up,so I managed to get back to my truck and pour myself into the bunk and go to sleep.
The next morning the crew chief woke me…he had bad news,the crew was delayed with the crane in Salt Lake City and everything was put off until the following morning. They were going to pay me an extra two hundred for the wait and my head was screaming from all the beers I forced it to accept the night before…so it did not hurt my feelings and I praised all and went back to sleep.
The next day the crane and support truck and the crew showed up and every one was ready so we drove out onto the highway and rode a distance until we came to a white one ton truck waiting on the side of the road-the driver of that led us down a dirt two track lane. We followed that for thirty miles-the lane paralleled a rail line which we were instructed to follow his trucks lead and instruction….everytime a train passed-which was surprisingly often-we had to hug the roadways left side to clear the train.
There was another reason we had to stop along the way. It was this guy in the white one tons job to stop and remove dead cows from the train track-he had a winch set up on the back of his truck and he’d have to cable that winch out and attach a cable to the cows leg and drag it down off the rail bed and over to the side of the road. The man later told us us following him that day was the best he had in years because everytime he stopped to pull a cow off the tracks we all just got out of our trucks and pulled the thing off ourselves.
The old guy in the white one ton said he had that job with the rail road all his life. He told us it took him usually eight hours to go one hundred miles along this rail line and at the end of the hundred miles he had a travel trailer where he stayed over night and the return trip he’d be at home in Wells .
What a job.
a males life after rape 
January 23, 2007 at 7:09 pm |
Jay,
If you have time to write on the blog then you have time to write to your brother. I am only asking for your love and respect. I have always supported you, I have listened to you, I have loved you, and I haven’t violated your trust. Why are you treating me this way?
Beside the obivous physical side to rape there is the more cancerous emotional side to it as well. I hate to say this Jay, but by ignoring your only living brother, and by leaving the burdons of the family to me, you are raping me emotionally. By ignoring your mother you are raping her of the love she has for you. Not fair.
Ignoring me and treating me and my family this way is heartless. It is time for you to stop complaining on this blog about not being loved and own up to your own failures to love us back. You need to call me. You need to answer my emails, and most of all you need to love you parents (if you can’t find it in your hear to love your father … Who loves you… then do it for your mother) and stop this.
I read a post from someone that reads your blog and they said:
Hope said:
December 26th, 2006 at 8:12 pm
Pleading for love to ears that cannot or will not hear for years -what has it gotten you? The only thing I really learn as I get older is that you can’t make another person feel what you want them to feel, think what you want them to think, or do what you want them to do. …” Jay, we love you no matter what. You are a very special person, and you deserve good things to happen to you.”… Truth be known, there’s no one out there who wants to see you down. … I’m sure when you were born, your father looked down at you just wanting you to live. That’s all a father needs, and you have done that. You are more precious to the ones who made you than you will ever know, or they could ever show.
Accept the things you cannot change doesn’t mean liking them. It just means moving forward trying to do better. Reaching out and being connected like you’re doing with this blog, helps you and others.
Your reply to Hope was
jayherron Says:
December 26th, 2006 at 10:34 pm
…that was definantly cool-thank you Hope! really,thank you
Instead of thanking her why don’t you listen to her?
Jay, I am not the person that hurt you. I am your brother. Stop ignoring me. If you are going to post messages on this blog, and read the responses from people, then perhaps you should give them, and me, the common decency of listen to us.
So hear me now Jay. Running away from your family is wrong. Simply put, you are breaking moms heart. You are breaking my heart, and you doing the wrong thing.
I love you. I need you in my life. And I betting that you need me too.
Love, Joey
January 24, 2007 at 11:02 pm |
…..I feel I know Jay. I have lived in the same area as he these past three and a half years. The struggles of coming to grips with the horrific physical and mental things which happened to him via the military, are wounds that cannot be healed (if ever) in a short time. The lack of validation is one thing Jay misses from his family. I know that both parents are not well. I know Joe you are close and unfortunately when things happen in familys there is always one sibling that feels more put upon than others. Jay has never expressed that he does not Love his family……knowing Jay his love is unconditionally. I know he has visited his family and many times has come back home feeling as though his suggestions or efforts fell on deaf ears. Jay finally has taken steps in his life to heal himself. This family needs to quit blaming and hurting one another and pull together. If Jay feels that silence at this time is the best action for him to take, then this is the decision he lives with and comes from his own reasons. To me a blog is a little more than just a journal, it is expressing yourself to an open door. Jay does not hold back or look at things without a lot of reality and truth. Perhaps brother Joe if you are so heartfelt about your relationship with your brother, you should drive down and meet with him. When all is said and done and the last shovel of dirt is placed and we are the ones left standing, what do we stand with…..ourselves. Do we stand with bitterness, old hurts or do we breath in and say ” I did the best I could”? This is not a time to cause quilt trips, it is a time to trully Love One Another.
March 2, 2007 at 4:04 am |
I’ve known Uncle Jay and Uncle Joey since I was a baby (but of course!). They’re two very distinctly different individuals who express themselves in different ways. I’ve also known of Uncle Jay’s gang rape since I was a teenager, having been told of this horrible incident by my mum (my dad, Frank’s first wife). Uncle Joey has a good point about listening to what people are saying here. My Dad’s family has had several tragedies. Granny Jo and Grandad lost not just their only daughter (whom I was named for), but also their youngest son before both could reach adulthood. I used to go over the photo albums looking at the pictures of Aunt Jo Eileen and Uncle Carl and wonder what my relationship with them would have been like. Even though I was born 6 months after Uncle Carl was killed and never got to know he or Aunt Jo Eileen, it seems like I lost something as well. That sounds odd, I know. 5 years ago, my dad died. I remember going up to the casket, looking at my dad lying there, then looking up and seeing my dad standing there. It was actually Uncle Jay standing at the casket, and I was relieved to find out my sister, Kim, had a similiar experience. Tragedies do a lot to families. I believe there are a lot of misunderstandings, and Uncle Jay, Uncle Joey, Granny Jo, and my stepmother, Dianne (my Dad’s widow, whom I feel very close to), are all trying to ‘meet in the middle’ (for lack of a better term). I don’t think anyone is trying to ’cause guilt trips’. Uncle Jay, I think you recall I’m somewhat outspoken. Remember how I was at Charlotte’s? I’m going to pull no punches here and tell you, for Pete’s sake, respond to Uncle Joe’s e-mails and phone calls. He’s been trying to contact you, at least respond with something. You should know me well enough to know I’m not trying to be offensive. I had a lousy life growing up, and I’m not close to my Mum, so if Granny Jo and Uncle Joey are trying to reach out, reach back. Oh, behave yourself. Don’t blow all your money. Yep, I’m giving advice again. That’s me–deal with it!
Love,
B.J.
March 2, 2007 at 5:22 pm |
Shellia – You’re wrong about this one statement: The lack of validation is one thing Jay misses from his family. Uncle Jay has validation from his family. I’ve been to the VA with him, went through his documents, and brought up questions and highlighted areas for him to talk to his counselors about. I’ve also met his counselor face-to-face. I helped him take his artwork to the 2006 showing for abused people to the University at Gainseville. Uncle Joey brought Granny Jo to see the drawings. Of course there are difficulties in this family, but ot make such a blanket statement of validation is wrong. With my helping him with his VA disputes, as well as finding information to help him locate his 2nd wife’s whereabouts and her past criminal history, and Uncle Joey and Granny Jo’s visit to the University to see his artwork, I believe we at least have shown him some validation. Please be careful making blanket statements about people you really don’t know.
March 10, 2007 at 1:42 am |
…..Yes, I remember meeting you that one time you were here. Do pat yourself on the back! I am not going to utilize this blog, which is for Jay’s healing, as a pounding ground for anyone else to vent their own frustrations. Thank goodness I am not in this family…..standing on the outskirts of the forest appears to have been screwed up enough without my voicing my observations……BUT GUESS WHAT CHICKIE DOO…..FREEDOM OF SPEECH……