flyer therapy-amended




survivors art hand-bill

Originally uploaded by jayfherron.

Earlier this morning I wrote about the upcoming Survivors Art Exhibit-and I was mistaken in my writing that the exhibit is sponsered by the national foundation-Survivors Art Foundation,and I apologize for that error and would like to now thank the Gainesville (Florida) Commision on the Status of Woman,Inc. and is also co-sponsered by the University of Florida Counseling Center. I really do hope I have not ofeended any one by my error.
I think this also important to say-most of the time I do my writing before daylight each morning.
I was really on top of things as I wrote about the therapy of this-posting these notices for the exhibit…but as my morning progressed I became anxious-and so stressed by the time I reached my first planned destination to post one of these flyers and the events of my post traumatic stress disorder returned and I felt locked into my seat in my vehicle-my hands unable to open the door….my throat felt as if some one was squeezeing it-chokeing me. I left that place drove away and tried to go to the community college and could not make the turns and then my mind said try the area up in town where some of the artist community might see the flyers…and I drove around the block and then made the block bigger until I was out of that area again. I did manage to stop at a place here called ‘The Corner Drugstore’ which is an age old mental health clinic here in the city-I entered and there were people and that made it worse but Imanaged to stammer out something that might have been understood-because they took a flyer and said they would put it up.
I believe I felt alright about doing this yesterday because I had been in the VA and did my routine walk around and as always crossed over to the medical center through the tunnel to roam that building too-to get comfortable….and I did not get to do that this morning,instead wrote about how this was going to be me winning a battle….and I lost!
I even was afraid to go into the laundry-matt where I wash my things usually,I was to shaken by then and felt ill. I drove around the entire city-in fear…my chest feeling compressed and the squeezeing on my throat continued until I had to give it up and come home and crawl into bed and there I feel into a state of exhaustion.
Tomorrow-Feburary 1….I am getting up at 0500 and getting out of here to do the VA and Med-center adjustment ‘tour’ and hike the campus and finish the task there.
I promise myself this!

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