the sea…

russian ship

Originally uploaded by jayfherron.

My great grandfather was a sea captain far enough back in time when the ships of the day were tall sailing ships. This was my grandmother Wickie-her father,and it was often as a boy Wickie would tell me stories about that man and his ships.
I dont think it is as much her stories but that the fact of my great grandfathers genes have passed down to see them mixed with mine and that is what attracts me to ships and the want for the sea.
I often go to the Atlantic shore on my birthday and stand on its edge where the sea meets the sand and look out into the great open space and hear the sounds of the rushing water as if its whispering and calling me-and its how I feel my great grandfather inside of as if I’m some mystical vessel that contains him and allows him to live through me and that when I get near the ocean or a pier loaded wih ships he revives even more and I can sense him the most.
I always thought what a wonderful way to go-like an old ship that gets slivered at sea when its days have long passed and its rusty body cannot handle the life at sea…Ive always thought if I was to learn my life is near its own end that I would take whats able of me and go out into the ocean on a craft worthy of going way far out…and Id enjoy the silence from machines and people and reach out into the vastness of its peace and slip away from the craft….I cannot swim,so it should be the convienience of that lacking that might boost me off to peace.
I never met my great grandfather except through the memories of my grandmother-I loved to imagine how he must have been.
Driving a truck long distance was my being a captain of a ship and the concrete of the highway was my sea-and believe me,when you get to places out in the west like Nebraska where the grasses of the plains look like waves in the ocean when the ever present winds blow across and move thier tall stems so softly and full of grace.
The only time Ive ever been to sea was on the Vulcan-a ship almost the size of the one in the picture-and on my off duty hours it was my most favorite thing to do to go all the way up to the very front of the ship and I could lean my body right into the bow and look over down the stem of the ship to watch it cut through the sea.
I saw what my great grandfather was showing me.