things hoped for-things unseen

campfire shirt

Originally uploaded by jayfherron

The best definition I know for faith is that it is the substance of things unknown and the evidence of things unseen. It’s like hiking a well worn trail-every time you got to where you walked to you saw the substance of the things which were previously unkown as you walked towards them-but you knew they were there….and when you saw these things they were the evidence of what you thought was going to be there when you got there…and it was.
It’s bigger then that-at least for me. It is kind of like being at the beginning of the trail and the only things you can rely on to sustain you is on your back in a backpack-and you trust it to get you to the end of the trail and to your destination.
Of course-there are many who have never experienced a long hike lasting several days…going down a trail,so the picture I’m trying to paint is not so clear.
I know one thing-money has nothing to do with faith,nor faith money.
Like I said once before about the monk that told me I owned nothing and later that night as we looked up at the stars he said I owned every one of them because they are in front of my eyes all the time-no matter where or what the circumstance….no one can take them away,ahhh…but your land they can. That remark in reference that I said to him earlier that I owned five acres of land-he pointed out it did not matter where you were standing that if you percieve in your mind then it is yours-but I owned nothing. It’s there as long as you want it,gone when you dont-no maintanence,no worry if you locked it when you left it.
He said after all…I owned nothing.
But everything I saw was mine.

Ten years ago I thought I had this bad chest cold-but the last night of it I felt like there was this thing inside of my body bigger than me and it was trying to get out…it hurt because the pressure was so great. Well-it turned out it was’nt a cold but my heart. It was giving out and a few days later I had a stroke. I was pretty certain I began to appreciate more what the old monk was saying way back in the hippie days-my body was broken because of a blood clot to my brain,fixed things so I could’nt drive a big truck again…which is what I did-no more fat paychecks and easy money.

I believe it was an intentional period of learning for me. The woman I was married to was (-really-) as volatile as a rattlesnake….there had to be a lesson in that ,and the convict (Rose)…she too,a lesson. Interesting,I recall that monk saying what little you can carry with you the better it is.
I remember the time when I was hauling cattle and then too my heart gave out and I was pulled off the truck. The guy that owned the operation was a millionare over ten times…or more. He drove me back to Florida. I remember him telling I was richer than him…at least where happiness came-he said he could’nt figure me out…I did’nt give a squat about money and yet I lived and acted like I was on top of the world. He,on the other hand,was so rich the owner of the bank would jump up to open the door for him if he ever saw him coming…he said he was agitated and worried all the time,and he was rich-and me? Well,he saw me as a guy that had a buck or two and just happy go lucky attitude….heck,I was living with out electricty then for about two years long-cooked on a campfire…walked just about everywhere I went-folks knew that.
So I guess the monk has a point…the guy died-heck,he was only 45. Dropped dead smack in his tracks-no more a millionare. And yet,here I am,still living from check to check-it aint easy…could be better,but then…it could be worse.
I had my stroke when I was 46…pushing my body to put 1100 dollars each payday in my wallet.
Somehow I think faith has to do with it-why did the rich guy die right away? and why did I keep on in this life?
It was in one of the rich guys semi trucks that my heart was trying to tell me then some things needed change about my life-it took a few years more for it to catch up and prove itself. While I was laying in that truck feeling the pain from my chest I saw things that made me have peace about death…I saw things that have to be special and a gift. It seemed so wonderful to feel your body go towards death…yet,death is not what we think-it is beauty and peace and soft and wonderful. It is the thing hoped for…but yet unseen.
I think I screwed up the whole process of what was happening-it was not too long after that the rattlesnake bride came into the scene-and after her…as if it was not enough,Rose…
It seemed like a slam-dunk to me. Like standing in the center of a tornado…
Well…most certainly I have come to the point of confusion to you my reader…
A guy I knew died,another rich guy-and his son has inherited a bit more than his life ever anticipated all this time. First of his life he had not-now he has….there was a motorcycle involved-some guy had it in his garage for several long years. The bike is worth something-it is a classic…and the son and I were talking about the value of the bike and the truth be known the thing that he said which was so true…I never had it until now and never needed it-and now that I have it it does’nt make sense to become greedy over things now.
I think he met the same monk.

2 Responses to “things hoped for-things unseen”

  1. Rob Says:

    Mad props! We named our first cd “Things hoped for, things unseen”. I think you really hit the nail on the head here.

  2. jayherron Says:

    …thank you Rob-I looked your band up on the internet and would be pleased to find C/Ds of your music!…maybe even find an open air concert-would’nt be able to do an inside venue but I’d love to see and hear your sound!!

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