The emotions of the past week and month of seasonal attractions adorning almost everything you see is behind us on the pages of our new calendars,but things linger on!
There was a weird feeling last Friday as I drove home from my sons new home in South Carolina . My mind was used to thinking of how the day of new year eve bombs my entire day but today was a hundred pounds heavier to bear.
Both of my sons grew up watching me fall down! They knew why I fell so much…I told them,over and over I would tell them. Just little kids too,watching dad be falling down drunk .
My oldest son enlisted in the US Navy while still in high school. He departed for boot camp training the day after he graduated. While most kids were out celebrating he was busy packing for his new experience. Of course,everything he packed got sent home! A long time ago….he retires in one more year.
Last Friday was a long drive home. I picked up highway 301 in Turbeville,South Carolina. It was an appropriate route as it was the same highway that brought me to Florida part way in 1970. The interstate highway was sporadic in those days.
The road was open and the drive was filled with memory triggers both because of my traveling this way 41 years ago and the times I Northed and Southed this route as a trucker. Ghosts of old truck stops were still hanging on with trees growing out of their long collapsed roofs. Places I remembered eating and sleeping at these now all relic eyesores.
I feel God has this strange way of teaching us. The trip was too distinctly close in the way the day was extremely emotional. I found myself close to tears several times. My Navy son has never stopped saying to me that he enlisted in the Navy for me! He has done well by it making the high honor of CPO and earning several sailor of the year awards. And he has always handed me these awards saying he did it for me!
It was hard putting it all in perspective last Friday…new year eve. I spent the night before alone in my son’s house. He and his wife were over in Charleston staying in a motel. He was flying back to Hawaii as I was driving down 301. I felt so sad for him as I pulled the back door of his house closed that morning. It will be one full year before he gets to come home and stay home. Finances and the high cost of living in Pearl Harbor means he has also left his wife and two small sons to settle into the home he has to leave behind.
The sad part about this eats at me because it is always in my head that he did this for me knowing how I wanted to fulfill a life in the Navy and wept so often about what had happened. My heart was filled with the sad irony that he was heading back to finish the year on new year eve. I kept thinking about how I was trying to get home new year 1969/70 to be with my family when the event that changed my life’s course occurred in barracks D.
I think it was symbolic my choice of taking 301. I did it to avoid the heavy traffic of the interstate this being a holiday and a Friday but spiritually it seems that it was orchestrated to ping at my senses and stir up my emotions. This has been quite a life! And the drive was like the ghost of crixmix (christmas) past to return hundreds of visions to my head.
a males life after rape 
January 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm |
Jay its a New Year and time to let the world know that Males do get raped and then after get raped again by the system. There is many programs for Female MST survivors but few for Males. We need to work as one voice for Male MST survivors Thank You for all you have done and the many others who read your blog I have started a New Group on Facebook and also a new blog the facebook name is mend mst and here is the link for the blog. http://mend4malesurvivorsofmst.blogspot.com as I find go info I will post it on the sites. Most of the work from other sites and I try to credit all of them. Thanks and God Bless Rev Dr Wayne Edward May a MST survivor
January 12, 2011 at 12:30 pm |
In the bible Christ is at times refered to as the Branch. As a branch on a tree,as it grows,as it reaches out….as you are doing! You are doing something to make that difference for others,you are branching out as a huge giant tree…and you are spreading the message too! peace
January 11, 2011 at 4:58 pm |
sorry I made a small typo its I find good info.
January 11, 2011 at 8:15 pm |
How is it that your son is having problems with cost of living in Pearl Harbor as an E-7 with a wife and 2 kids? I’m pretty certain military members get a Cost of Living allowance and Housing based on Dependents to cover all expenses. This cost is based on the cost of living in the area the military member lives in. I have friends in the military, some of them are lower rating than E-7, have more kids, and live in even more expensive places than Hawaii and are able to meet their living expenses just fine. Has your son sought Financial counseling at his base? That might help him.
January 12, 2011 at 3:41 am |
My son retires in less than 12 months. He was submarine service but suffers migranes terrible so he lost sub pay because he could no longer qualify. Could’nt really tell you all the finance sitch just know that he is there and they are here.
January 11, 2011 at 8:19 pm |
By the way, thank your son for his service. I know it ain’t easy serving during this time of War on Terror. Yeah, I also know about rapes of our servicemen in the military–frequently by their fellow serving men! It’s doggone awful and needs to be dealt with severely.
January 12, 2011 at 3:42 am |
Thank You!…this is one fine guy!!