Posts Tagged ‘May 11 2010’

this I will believe in…

April 29, 2010

American flags
Originally uploaded by jayfherron


The telephone call I received the other night said I am scheduled to meet two Senators on Tuesday May 11,2010.

I will believe it when it actually happens-I am as sceptic as anyone else and all ready to face reality…but,I want to believe-finally…for once,that our elected officials really care!

My caller-also an MST survivor-has been working hard to enact legislation to protect ROTC recruits and help earn rights for the students to be covered with VA care. My caller was raped by his drill instructor in the Army-the drill instructor went on to become an ROTC instructor who raped a young male ROTC student in Florida,and is now serving a 12 year prison sentence. My caller has records to identify  more victims-he hopes to have Federal charges brought against his assailant.

The work this young man has done led him to me! Our conversations have been emotional almost every time we speak. He is the age of my own sons-yet we have a separate kind of relationship than I would with a young man that age-somehow,being a rape survivor does something to ones self-esteem,and we mark a different kind of personality!

My young friend has persevered in his work to find justice-and help for the many unknown ROTC students that have been traumatized by superiors. His work has paid off…we have appointments with two Senators (Specter and Lieberman) face to face!

I can toss my sign idea…there are also some other plans in the works! One being that we are going to request to speak to the committee on Armed Forces. Another that we use our spot on the agenda to walk the halls of the Senate offices to visit each office and lobby for MST VETERANS RIGHTS!

Do you know what is missing? You are!

If you are reading this-you have come here from some reason! I hope the reason is for hope-for healing-for strength from another survivor. It might be that you have something you want to say-you DO have something to say!! And like I have been all of my life since my attacks-afraid to speak out!

Allow me to present your words-your pain and your tribulations as an MST survivor to these Sentors…write me-and let me hand carry your statements to those who should and must hear us. Tell them in your own words your pain and the difficulties you have-especially explain the  truth about your lives as the SILENT WOUNDED!

My name is Jay Herron…I am a MALE survivor of ‘military sexual trauma am a male rape survivor! I know the pain-and the losses in life after-and the mental health pain resulting in drugs and alcohol and the physical pain of anxiety and loss of self-esteem. I know what it is like living in a stigmatized world that has no understanding…still thinking sexual trauma is something not so bad-after all…it was sexual?? I know what I have lost-and I know you are suffering too!

Help me-!! Allow me to carry your message to these men-let us try to trust…the most precious thing stolen from us the day we were raped! Let us try to mend it-trust…let us try to trust!

My name is Jay Herron and I AM a survivor!  Write me a letter to carry to these men of power-speak your voice…SPEAK!!

…goin to the city-Washington DC

April 20, 2010

Originally uploaded by jayfherron


Before I write this:

For those who have only just stumbled by finding my journal by accident….I am Jay Herron-a 59-year-old male (MALE) survivor of  rape.

 My attacks occurred while serving in the United States military-being so, qualifies me for a distinct kind of definition for rape…it is known as ‘military sexual trauma’…MST!

Several years ago-the time which can be dated by the date I first set up a computer in my home-the date I first started writing about my life as a survivor….the date I was offended by the remarks of a Veterans Service Officer-a VSO! The date that proved that there is an ignorance about ‘sexual trauma’ being related to something that just ain’t that bad! After all…sex was involved?? Right? Come on chum…am I right??

The interview I had the first time I ever met a VSO was responded to with humor and bigotry…the humor was self serving-the VSO saw it odd that homosexuals needed a reason to rape each other…and the VSO was clearly shocked to hear my rapist(s) were not black men. To him it just had to be!

I should have quit then.

A month or so later….the date that I started writing about the injustice of being an MST survivor….I returned to the VSO and more remarks (and again-the self-serving humor) about my being a male rape victim had more to do with homosexual behavior than it did with my being beaten up and forced to be victimized-repeatedly for nearly two months!

I’ve begun to realize since beginning this journal that I am not a lone survivor….there are thousands of MST veterans-many of them are silent and hidden away by the fears resulting from being a victim-and the fears that are energized by PTSD. I know these people-the MST veteran as ‘silent wounded’.

The SILENT WOUNDED came forward when duty called-like any soldier or sailor-came forward to protect and serve and the defend the rights and freedoms of this country-the United States of America! Our wounds came in an unreasonable way…a shameful way-not in battle as a final result of courage-with honor,not in a way that earns us the respect of any other veteran…or the country we stepped forward to defend. We are the SILENT WOUNDED!

I know this. I lived in silence for a great part of my adult life because of the stigma and shame connected with rape. No one wanted to know…no one ever asked! My injuries came at a time that I was considered a disgrace to my family…they never knew why I became the way I have, broken.

So you are out there too! You are mustered up in a line of veterans that live in silence-most likely not feeling any honor in your military service…injured and not able to speak out about it-how you came to be a member of the ‘SILENT WOUNDED’!

My name is Jay Herron! I am sick that there are no voices loud enough to hear your plea for justice-and civil rights!

I AM going to Washington DC. I AM going to attend the national rally at the Capital of the United States…and-I AM going to carry the voices of other survivors…that is,if those silent are tired of keeping quiet-and want justice and equal rights,will respond to me and allow me to carry their message!

I am Jay Herron. I AM an MST survivor! I AM going to Washington DC! Write to me and allow me to be your messenger:  and I will print a copy to hand deliver- or…

9950 NE 132 Terrace-Williston FL 32696

(address it to SILENT WOUNDED and I will deliver your hand sealed envelope UN-opened) AND-will only place them in the hands of a Senator or Congress person ONLY!

Tell your story in however you can find the words and I promise you I will respect your pages and your words with all of my heart and I will hand deliver them to what ever Senator will accept them.

I AM attending the May 11,2010 Don’t ask,Don’t tell (DADT) rally in Washington DC…I have been told that there are people who want to hear our story! I have ben told I will meet a Senator that IS willing to listen and hear the words of the SILENT WOUNDED.

I am not concerned with who needs to ask and who needs to tell-my mission is not to appeal for anything more than for the equal rights of MST survivors! We need a freedom to be able to come forward and receive that which we first enlisted to defend-our rights,and the rights of others!

Help me tell your story-allow me the trust to be your voice.