I had an experience-it could be called “powerful medicine”!
12 year ago I was to attend a hearing. I was nervous and anxious-very stressed because everything was a huddle of unknowns…the place where the hearing was to be held,for one-but the fact that I had no idea who my attorney was,only that he was from Washington DC!
I find the only real way to calm down inside is with prayer and meditation-I usually walk in the State Forest which borders my place to do that.
The day before the hearing I was doing just that! I walked around the section we call Bailey’s Mine and I was thinking of this attorney holding the key to the rest of my life (my Social Security hearing-when I had my stroke) and because he was from Washington DC my thoughts turned to my boy hood there-my grandparents,and spending summers there!
During those visits there was nothing to my grandmother giving us a hand full of dimes-back then the city still had street cars,it only cost a dime to ride!
While I was walking and praying out in the woods-praying about meeting a stranger and the way he connected through Washington DC-and me thinking of those dimes….there on the ground I found a shiny new dime! Not easy-I was in the middle of 2000 acres of wooded forest then. It was a sign-a sign that all I need to do is trust,the rest will follow.
I ‘ve always regarded that moment as special-everything did work out!
I also have this certain feeling about birds…the big birds-like ravens,to me,are spiritual. It almost never misses-if I am concerned or troubled…the raven-or a hawk will show up. These sightings are not usually in the woods…although many are-but in places of the most craziest locations for such a bird.
Sometimes I feel God is sending the bird-as if I am lost in some vast sea and the bird is sent to lead me to shore and safety. Absolutely no doubt in my mind-a sign!
Well-the trip to Washington DC is on me now!
I leave here later this afternoon to head to the airport. Everything is calmer now for me than was the other days. I was outside the other evening-cleaning out my suitcase…troubled to the bone about the travel…and while cleaning the variety of pockets in the suitcase-I FOUND A DIME!!
I looked at thing in awe! I held it up as if it was a shield of armour-held it straight towards the sky saying thank you-thank you-thank you and tears flowed down my cheeks….tears of JOY-because there above was a HAWK! Strength!
The message? Calm down old man….the trip to Washington DC is covered by the hands of One more powerful…and the signs in dimes kept flowing!
Yesterday I emailed the story about finding the dime to the friend-a therapist-who attended my VA hearing with me! My email went out an hour before daylight. She responded moments later…on picking up her things for work-she found a dime sitting on the seat of her chair! Late yesterday she emailed again! In the 5th grade elementary school class she was visiting yesterday-the students were using the date on dimes to relate something about their birthdays….the shield keeps on covering!
Upon my finding the dime I found my fears lightened up-the power in what I had found overcame me-my tears flowed as I realized the significance of the DIME…the sign-the strength-saying this trip is all too important to allow myself to be afraid!
I am hand delivering 50 packets of statements from MILITARY SEXUAL TRAUMA survivors to Washington DC. My packets will go into the hands of Senators and Congress with my message that these are statements written by men and woman who wanted to serve their country-honorably and with dignity and instead were injured and abused in such a way the only return is shame and a feeling of dishonor!
There are TOO MANY Silent Wounded! This journey is in hope that a mission will be accomplished-and we will be heard and our silence will be gone and we will be impossible to ignore any longer!
Tags: men and woman raped while serving in military, military sexual trauma, MST, signs from God
a males life after rape 
May 8, 2010 at 12:17 pm |
Jay,
Thank YOU so much for doing what I know is so uncomfortable for you. It is a completely unselfish act and had the potential to help a great many people. We shall prevail my brother, I cannot wait to meet you and am adamant about making our prescience a formidable one! Love ya man.
May 8, 2010 at 12:31 pm |
wink!!
May 9, 2010 at 6:02 pm |
Some forty years ago a young man, his wife and two children moved to the sandhills of north central FL and took up residence in a small travel trailer about a mile and a half from my residence at the time. I think that in the whole area there were no more than three or four small homesteads. We had the only phone and it was located about 3/4 of a mile from the house and if you were expecting a call you either saddled a horse or slogged thru the sandhills to wait at the small metal box attached to a pole for your call. It was the boondocks. I digress, excuse me.
Jay and I became fast friends. It is a relationship that has lasted through divorces, drugs, many dogs, poverty, perversity, anger, crying, buzz cuts and mullets, jeeps, cadillacs, the ugliest truck in Florida and many forms of transportation which even we can’t remember. It is a relationship which has endured heartaches, heart attacks, hilarity, psychotic behavior, psycho-therapy and more than a few cold beers. During all this gobbledy-gook which we call life we have both hopefully evolved (Iknow he has). Jay Herron is exactly who he says he is, nothin’ on the side. If he tells you a mosquito can pull a plow…..don’t argue go get the harness. Brother, I’m so damn proud of what you’re doin.
May 11, 2010 at 9:30 am |
Such irony…I found a dime the other day. A simple dime.
I read this post today and it has new meaning for me now.
Thank you, my dear, once again.
May 11, 2010 at 5:36 pm |
Jay,
Just getting to your blog today…I also found a dime yesterday on the floor of my laundry room. I assumed it had fallen out of my pants although I rarely put change in my pants. Just another sign for you Brother!
“You shall mount up with wings as Angels!” Our prayers go with you, Friend.
Thank you for all you are doing!
Joan
May 14, 2010 at 2:14 am |
Because I do not know if Jay is back in Florida or still in Washington and we split ways. I too shall extend the offer here as I have not been blogging as he has for five years and I have no following other than those on YouTube. So, My name is Jamey Michael Harding I grew up on a small working farm in a country town of approximately 600 people. I was a 97 Golf Signal Security Specialist and left the day after I graduated high school at age 17. Once at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri my BCT began with Bravo Company 5/10 Bushmasters. At that time newly promoted SSG Demetrius Busby took a fondness to me growing increasingly uncomfortable. It culminated in rape on 4 occurences in the NCO Latrine while I was in “Security Holdover Status.” So Jay’s readers, imagine my suprise when I read that Demetrius Busby had retired after 24 years of “honorable” service, two tours in Desert Storm, Distinguished with Medals, retired moved to Gainesville,FL where he adopted a child and then went to Sarasota, FL where he was arrested and found guilty on two counts of Lewd and Lacivious Acts Against a Minor, and one count of showing Child Pornography to on of his J.R.O.T.C. Cadets. Of the 7 identifyable victims poilice could only charge him for two because the others for whatever reason refused to cooperate or press charges. Busby still collects his $48,000/year pension while I am living without any income at all. Once again thanks to Jay he explained I qualify for MST Service Related Disability with the local VA Hospital but that will take some time even with the help of my Senator. In the meantime I had no idea that our efforts would pay off so handsomely. I was called very late this afternoon by a female major whom is also a MST Survivor now working for a Congressman, this Congressman is one of three Chairmen on a Joint Veteran’s Affairs Commsision specifically to address Military Sexual Trauma, when and where it occurs, accountability of the perpertrators actions, and not the previous policy of discharging the lower ranking soldier like myself a lowly E-2 with even a token effort at an investigation. I want my First SGT, my XO, CO, and Battalion Command to be brought under scrutinty for not having handled this properly. Had they these poor 7 kids and god knows how many other soldiers and civilians would not have experienced what I did at such a young a innocent age. These kids need help and the Government is liable to provide it. Therefore, I am giving you my email address EQUALITYUNITED@verizon.net, you may email me you stories with a guarantee of utmost discretion, you may call me at 570-71-5480 to discuss any concerns, or you may mail me quickly because this is one week from today your personal stories so that I may hand deliver them to the Committee Chairmen at the conclusion of my testimony where they will be reviewed and entered to the record as Official Congressional Testimony for all of eternity. This may aide in your healing process, it may also substantiate grounds for financial compensation and tracking down and the military prosecuting your abuser(s). My home address is Street, Hazleton PA 18201-5023. As for email send it to my face book and I’ll translate it in word, send it .pdf or conventional email. Thanks for your time I know how painful these thoughts are to relive each and everyday, but this may be our only shot at justice so please thing hard about seriously doing this. Thank you for your service every one of you served Honorably regardless of your dd-214 and I thank you for your service, strength, and courage. Love to you all.
May 17, 2010 at 11:13 am |
I will publish his comment-I DO NOT VOUCH for this individual-and would not care to give him ANY of my personal information. I find him in need of a part of life called integrity…meaning,I am NOT positive as if one can trust him!
May 23, 2010 at 5:37 pm |
Funny, sir, I read all your blogs. Why is it you cannot seem to remember who raped you, but Jamey does? He is fighting just as hard as you are for MST victims yet you ask about his integrity? Austoblieft!
May 23, 2010 at 6:28 pm |
My experience was in a detention barracks-we actually did not get to introduce ourselves because most of my two months there was under the control of my being beaten up to be made to do the humility of it all.
JMH was in boot camp-it was’nt so hard-I guess-to know the name of his attacker!
Integrity comes when a person (in this case a female) in a meeting (in a Congressmans office) says that the language to describe the attacks (as Jamey was expressing) was making her uncomfortable…and the light bulb must not have gone off-as he kept expressing the details.
It offended me-I choose to say it as I saw it!
You were’nt there-so you really can’t say…can you?
I feel that a person shows the same intelligence as a ping pong ball-especially when a person directly requests a change in tone of the language that the speaker is making when it is making one uncomfortable-then,it is really neccesary to listen!
And-I can go through any daily mishap-or confusion-or getting lost-or loosing a paper-or being late with out the need to loose my temper and find it only easy to use foul language-and rant with it-the sign of someone that struggles with having a feeble mind! Most especially when he is using the tirade towards another person with PTSD! It sets off triggers and emotions!
I have been able to prove my case with full exhoneration-to the VA with them agreeing to admit my case was and is mlitary connected. Has he?
You needed to be in the two meetings we attended to be able to comment-he seemed to be on his own,for his own-and he really blew his integrity when in the first meeting he described a VERY SPECIFIC detail one way…in the second meeting he adjusted that detail to make it sound more like he was willing to prevaricate for shock value.
I know that ONE detail should have never changed in any time of his descriptions if it so happened-it was too pertinent for the deviation to go un-noticed! It was very distinctive…very very distinctive!
Some people can battle the same issue with a fever for it…some messengers need to be quiet-they do more harm than good!
JMH needs to be SILENT and LISTEN!
Maybe he needs to plain old fashioned-SHUT UP!
peace
May 24, 2010 at 9:29 pm |
How big were your detention barracks? I remember boot camp. Man, those were some huge barracks. We’d have 50 plus guys in one platoon. I am amazed how JMH could remember the name of his drill Sergeant who raped him, but you can’t seem to place one of your attackers, especially as you claim this was a daily occurrence lasting for two months? Wasn’t there a daily roll call? In the Army, we muster for roll call at 0700 sharp. If your detention barracks had more than 50 people in it, wow, what was wrong with your guys? Sounds like some strong discipline was needed long before you got sent to detention. Man, I’m confused. You say JMH needs to be SILENT and LISTEN and just SHUT UP? You got offended at his language and descriptive details? Have you gone back and read thru all your blogs? How many times have you dropped the F-bomb? How about your descriptions of your fling with the student teacher? You think that isn’t embarrassing? What makes your words more valid than JMH’s? Is there anyone else who has insight into your military service? How about posting your DD 214? How do we know you actually served? How can we be sure you got the “honorable” you say you got, mister? Look, I’m an NCO. I’m all for giving victims a voice. What I’m not for is tellilng other victims they need to shut up. If JMH needs to shut up, maybe you should shut up, too.
May 25, 2010 at 4:40 am |
This seems to be a matter of an attempt at Blog Hijacking. A comment was posted here to solicit readers of the this blog to support another’s efforts to address similar issues. In question on this blog is the questionable behaviour and true motivation for that offer being made here by this particular individual. An offer made, by the way, that was done in a manner disrespectful of this blog’s owner, as permission to solicit readers here was not asked for, or granted except after the fact. Kudos to Jay for showing integrity YET AGAIN by allowing that comment to stay.
This is Jay’s blog and he gets to say and share whatever he chooses. That’s the nature of blog ownership. It’s his world, we are his guests as long as he chooses.
One final thing. Everything that Jay writes and shares here is the absolute truth. Some readers know him IRL.
May 25, 2010 at 10:27 pm |
I know it is mostly hard for immature sorts to rationalize-never the less…it is going to be! Confused? Well…we all can understand-feeble minds expressing with force. It’s all they can do-and we should have our pity for the rough aftermath they endure! Such as…awww well-it’s beyond their comprehension-that is why they can only react in a forceable manner.
Thunk?
Besides-a REAL judge judged me! That is all I am concerned with-not your judgement or lack there of!
Remember that PROFANITY IS the EFFORT of a FEEBLE mind TRYING (emphasis on trying) to express itself forceably! 🙂
EFFORT=attempt,with difficulty