mouse furniture

mouse furnitureOriginally uploaded by jayfherron

I try to do my writing before the actual morning begins-actual meaning before 8 o’clock. Part of the reason is I like the early part of the morning when its still dark-I used to love it when I was a trucker and drive through mountain areas and see the lights go on in places up in the hills. I would spend that part of the morning thinking about Jimmy’s dad (a kid I knew way back whose father drove a truck) and the good old days of being a boy. The other reason is the telephone! If my phone was to ring-every thing I’ve written would be lost.
I am not a computer person…meaning,I got it started-but I can’t operate it,so I have no idea how to save things and avoid the phone ring crash!
Its kind of like this-when I was a trucker I was a ‘heavy haul’ trucker which means I hauled all kinds of heavy equipment like bulldozers and excavators. Most of the time-almost all of the time-the equipment would be in an isolated place and no one was around to help you figure out how to start it and move it…so I would be on my own. Getting it started was not much of a challenge-everything thats motorized or electric has a switch,but getting it to move was a different deal. Thats how the computer is for me.So all of the real teckno stuff is not yet in my mode of operations thus the easiest solution to saving everything is not readily done because of my limitations….which most of are obvious!
My home and lifestyle are simply humble. Some folks have come to visit and are’nt really comfortable because its out in the edge of the world-no street lights,and my front door has no locks or even a door knob. I hardly even shut the thing-winter or any kind of weather…the door is open. Why bother? Can’t heat the place…and its too far out in the middle of nowhere to profitable for a burgular,besides-a burgular would never even notice the things I have. No TV set…hardly a stereo. But like I said-no ones going to come out here to rob someone. That does’nt hinder guests from getting a tad nervous when the dusk comes and the reality that this place is miles from a sidewalk and furthur from a convienience store-or,civilization of the modern factor.
I said it before-I got this computer to do one thing,which is to bring awareness to male sexual assault. To be more specific it is the fact that our veterans have numbers in thier midst who have experienced sexual assault while in the military and like me have been living a life of fear due to the post traumatic issues that tag along with you forever. To give a voice-however loud it may or may not be. Abraham Lincoln said ‘to sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards out of men’. I am protesting the with best means I have-which is this computer.
Its turned out the protest is not the only reason-it turns out there is something else!
I never realized telling everything I can-to say what ever I feel by this medium…would be so meaningful and how it has freed me in this one way to speak up…in a place where I am not afraid to speak.
I am afraid to speak. This has freed me!
I am trying to learn. My success rate is slow-but I am plugging along…learning this computer stuff has not been as easy as going out in a field somewhere to load a combine and not know the first thing about how to get that machine to roll. It pretty much is a piece of cake to make it move if its meant to roll. But darned if this aint the challenge….this elektrik gizmo
The point is-I’ve been hopeful to figure out how to add other survivor links to my editions side bar. I’ve done everything but somewhere I get lost. There are no levers to pull..maybe thats it.
It is important to me for all of us to provide as much information as I can to say we can survive…we can go on,crippled as we’ve become because of the hands of others-our attackers,but we can keep going (perhaps with detours) and to say to other survivors….you are not alone and you can find help and freedom too. I dont exactly how to tell you…thats why I’ve been telling you through my own life-but I know to change Abraham Lincoln’s words to challenge all of us is to say
“to be silent with out protest allows our attackers to make us cower”.

The louder our voice-the more we protest…the stronger we get. I’ve come to learn that with this computer!
(PLEASE NOTE: I want to THANK my friend Ani (withdissonance.net) for allowing me to ‘give up’ yesterday…this wonderful person helped me by adding the side bar-she has provided me with so much help to try to tutor me from afar! I finally had to beg for her help and like a real friend she took over and solved the problem…thank you so much Ani Star,thank you so much!)